Reflection on Project 2 Draft

After the peer review process, I have found some very similar issues to last week and some that are more specific to the writing style this week.  My very long sentences have been triumphantly and consistently returning (using lots of unnecessary adjectives like so).  Chelsea and Alex had very different issues to address in that they generalized statements or had sentences with confusing structure.  These two issues are hard to avoid in any essay, as mine also had these issues present, but sentences with a long string of words obliterating any sense of clarity are more common (again very similar to this long sentence).

Schmid Reportagen "cat reflection" accessed via Pixabay
Uploaded June 2015 CC0 Public Domain

Do you have an identifiable thesis?
Yes, I felt pretty good about how my first thesis turned out.  It was focused and addressed the main rhetorical strategies from the author and how I would discuss them.  In editing I will clarifying my thesis and making sure it also talks about importance of why each rhetorical strategy is relevant.

How have you decided to organize your essay?
I have the standard 5 paragraphs in which I discuss one of my points in each of my paragraphs.  The first body paragraph being about the audience, the second about US culture, and the final one addressing the logos and ethos in the argument.

Did you identify and analyze several important elements text's rhetorical situations?
Mostly, in my head everything is analyzed and presented well, but my version makes sense in my own head with my own context.  The essay is not quite reader friendly and could use some simplification.

Did you explain how these strategies were employed?
Mostly, there were some quotations and examples that were a little abrupt or I included too much surrounding context.  I will need to cut down on some of the irrelevant analysis of the controversy and add more analysis of rhetorical strategies.

Are you thoughtfully using evidence?
I think so.  My major goal when writing an essay is to write a strong well thought out argument.  While it may be more clear if I focused on sentence structure or grammar first, I find that my rough drafts yield a lot more successful final drafts if a ramble a bit.  Cutting down on text and unnecessary context is a lot easier than adding on to an essay.

Did you leave your readers wanting more?
I think so, at least for the liberal audience.  My bias might lead to a similar effect of Turrentine's writing in that I turn off the more conservative crowd.  The more clinical and analytical I can try to be, the better, when addressing such a morally confusing topic.